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CUOMO'S APOLOGY FAILED - WHAT SHOULD HE HAVE SAID?

Brigitte Kimichik • Mar 09, 2021

NY Governor's Apology Failed - What he should have said

Instead of an emotional, heart-felt, honest and direct apology, he engaged in a progression of “non-apologies” which have not been helpful and have only made things worse for him. 


Saturday’s non-apology was to deny that he “made advances” toward his accuser. Sunday’s version was to acknowledge that “some of the things I have said have been misinterpreted as an unwanted flirtation.” In other words, he did nothing wrong. 


Wednesday’s slightly improved version was for Cuomo to center the focus upon himself, not his accusers. “I never knew at the time that I was making anyone feel uncomfortable…I now understand that I acted in a way that made people feel uncomfortable. It was unintentional and I truly and deeply apologize for it. I feel awful about it, and frankly, I am embarrassed by it, and that's not easy to say but that's the truth." He added that he never touched anyone he worked with inappropriately.


Cuomo knew his statements were inappropriate at the time he made them. His actions were in fact intentional, he just did not appreciate how they would be taken. Is it because he thought his accusers would respond positively? Of course he is embarrassed. He got caught. His emphasis statement that ‘he never touched anyone inappropriately,’ if true, does not make up for any of the comments he made or other behaviors that were not appropriate. Those comments and inappropriate behaviors constitute sexual harassment all on their own.  


In a question and answer session after his Wednesday press conference, Cuomo states, "I understand that sensitivities have changed and behavior has changed." NO! His statement is wrong on so many levels. Sensitivities have never changed. Sexual harassment has never been ok or appropriate and has always caused trauma to its victims. The #MeToo movement has shined a very important floodlight on a centuries’ old pervasive problem. Finally, this floodlight is forcing changes in behavior that has been tolerated for far too long. 


Further, it does not matter whether Cuomo’s behavior was made with intent to harm or not. The test is whether his words or conduct made his accusers feel uncomfortable or were unwelcome. Cuomo should know. NY has zero tolerance for sexual harassment and he would have been required to take the mandatory sexual harassment training that was mandated by his own administration for everyone employed in New York State as of Oct. 8, 2019. 


Here is what Cuomo should have said: “I fully support my accusers’ coming forward to call me out on my behavior which I will not excuse. I did not appreciate the impact of my comments and actions at the time they were made and I cannot and will not defend them. I should know better. I have 3 daughters and if anyone behaved that way towards them, I would be very upset. My behavior was inappropriate and for that I sincerely apologize to each of my accusers. I will make every effort to educate myself on all matters sexual harassment in short order so this does not happen again. You have my promise.” Honest, direct and genuine. 


Charlotte Bennett, one of his accusers, reported Cuomo’s sexually harassing behavior immediately to his Chief of Staff and Chief Counsel. Her attorney is confident that Cuomo was made aware of her complaint and believes that the Attorney General's investigation will demonstrate that Cuomo’s administration officials failed to act on Ms. Bennett's serious allegations or to ensure that corrective measures were taken, in violation of legal requirements.


Cuomo has emplored New Yorker’s to wait for the facts from the attorney general investigating the matter before forming an opinion on his actions. For now he says, “I have learned an important lesson. I will be the better for this experience.” We question what lesson he learned. He should explain what he learned to change his behavior going forward.  


If the allegations are found to be true, Cuomo will likely be forced to resign. 


In the interim, Cuomo’s list of accusers is growing


For guidance on what constitutes sexual harassment and what men can do to help change behavior for themselves and as a bystander, check out our book 'Play Nice - Playground Rules for Respect in the Workplace,’ and join us at thesandboxseries.com


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